There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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