Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
