i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
