theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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