Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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