he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
