he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
