He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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