we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
