dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
