Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
As shirtless as possible
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
