Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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