TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
