We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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