i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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