Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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