you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How external is "for external use only"?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
