I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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