Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
