Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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