wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
