just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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