wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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