my mouth tastes like poor choices
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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