No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
