it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
