I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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