I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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