as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
