So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
