Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
