why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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