I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
