1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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