Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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