The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
