At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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