went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
