people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
