I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
