if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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