God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
zippers are such a cool invention
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
