the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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