My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
