I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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