Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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