the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
