Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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