Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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