I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
