can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
