I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
