I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
