just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
